


No name no man

by nopesther



Series: The Umbrella Whisperings [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Ben and Five are almost fighting, Good Sister Vanya Hargreeves, but also nice family gathering!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 21:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18290789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nopesther/pseuds/nopesther
Summary: “What do you mean Five’s got a name?!”The Hargreeves siblings are eager to know what Number Five's name is, and the only one who can provide them an answer is their beloved (dead) brother Ben.





	No name no man

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I'm really sorry I haven't updated so much lately, I'm really busy with things including stress because my exams are coming in about two weeks and uh- you know haha. I spent too much time on this one when it was supposed to be a quick thing, but here you go anyway. Also, it wasn't supposed to be angst, but I can't help myself, and I guess my current mood doesn't help.  
> Anyway, enjoy it!

**March 23rd, 2020**

 

It has almost been a year since the whole Apocalypse mess and by now every member of the Hargreeves family is rather comfortable with the fact that their dead brother is still hanging around in his free time -which is like, ninety-nine percent of it. Vanya is the one who has been the less reluctant to believe Klaus when he had explained that Ben could interact with them sometimes -and Ben was really thankful for that, it had reassured him a little bit after the mess it had been with Diego who had believed that his old bedroom was haunted for almost two weeks after “feeling weird” inside and “seeing furniture moving” - when, really, Ben had just wanted to go through his desk, but had bumped into it by mistake for once; and Diego had freaked out and, yes, his bedroom was haunted, of course, as was the whole house, and Klaus’s life since his birth, but the ghost was only Ben and his weird way of being tangible five minutes every two weeks.

In any case, Ben was now fully included in the family’s routine - or as much as they could include him at least. They would address him through Klaus, or just checking on him (Was he here? Would he watch TV with Allison? Was he able to steal that precious file for Diego? Could he come to Vanya’s concert next Saturday?). And Ben felt better than he had ever felt before, Klaus had noticed it: more cheerful, less indifferent -not that he didn’t care about his siblings before, but now it was almost going both ways, him still concerned about them, and them being interested in him for real.

 

For once, the siblings are all reunited in the kitchen, having a talk while Five is making a sandwich and pouring himself a cup of coffee; Klaus has sobered up (which happened more than what he would have thought lately, but the apocalypse really messed him up somehow). Allison’s last movie has just been released and she enthusiastically talks about it with Vanya who watched it the day before with Diego (she had dragged him to the closest theater using her most beautiful smile (learned from Five) and puppy eyes (taught by Klaus) and Diego had eventually given in to it.)(Vanya was really doing better since she stopped taking her pills and everyone could acknowledge that).

They are talking about everything and nothing really, some of them don’t even know why they are staying still (like Five who just gives contemptuous look every time he hears something that does not suit him or Luther who feels a little bit sidelined by his siblings’ allusions to pop culture, stuffs he had missed during his stay on the moon).

And now they are talking about Grace, and they all look at Diego because he is the one who was the closest to her even though he also was the more aware of her robotic essence.

“I miss her,” Diego says when there is silence after they talked about the cakes she would make and the way she always dressed so nicely. The siblings nod, they all miss her somehow, after all, she was their mom, or at least the one they considered as such, and blood had nothing to do with it -she raised them, she gave them what Reginald Hargreeves was purely incapable of giving by himself: love, kindness, care. Even Ben could not blame her for having just forgotten about his identity after he’d died, it wasn’t her fault (Pogo had her code changed), and he treasured all the memories he had with her anyway.

But suddenly Five sighs and makes a tongue click. “She was just a robot, guys, seriously, you should get over it.”

Six pairs of eyes look at him rather outraged. “Five! That’s rude,” says Allison; next to her, Diego looks like someone just stabbed him right in the stomach (and Vanya feels like laughing when she glances at him because, really, his face is hilarious).

“She- she gave us names!” Diego stammers, and that is when his siblings understand that Five’s statement has probably hurt him for real.

“Well… no offense but- Five hasn’t got one, so…” Luther says, but he is not so sure about this, and he doesn’t know (from the looks he receives) who, between Five and Diego, is going to kill him first.

Eventually, Five shrugs. “I don’t need one-”

“What do you mean Five’s got a name?!” Klaus shouts and he sounds so surprised that his siblings don’t immediately understand who he is talking to.

Ben smirks because Five can’t see him and therefore is not able to direct his hateful regard at him. “He’s got a name. Mom gave him one. But I thought you knew already.” Ben adds. Klaus is flabbergasted and the others are getting impatient.

“What are you saying, Klaus? What did Ben tell you?” Luther asks because, despite everything, he is still one of the most curious of them.

Klaus eventually turns to his siblings, takes a deep breath, as if he were about to tell them a well-kept secret, the kind of secret you had sworn not to tell anyone, ever.

“Ben says that you,” and Klaus points an accusing finger at Five, “have got a name. That Mom also gave one to you.”

They all turn to Five. “Is that true?” Vanya asks softly because she doesn’t want to sound insistent and also because she can already feel Five’s reluctance of being the center of attention for such a thing. “What is it? Why don’t we know about it?” Klaus asks both Ben and Five.

Five gives an annoyed look at Klaus, then at the empty seat next to him that he knows Ben is occupying at the moment (and he can perfectly portray his face, and how he is probably smiling mockingly, maybe he murmurs a little “sorry” when, really, Five knows that he is not sorry at all.) He keeps staring at the empty seat as if, maybe somehow, suddenly, he would be able to see Ben (because insulting the emptiness is too stupid and Five is not ready to demean himself by doing so yet.)

But Five cannot see a damn thing, and irritation is really gaining over him.

“Well, maybe you should ask Ben about it since he seems to know everything.” And before anyone can add anything, Five disappears in a flash of blue light.

There is a short silence before Diego speaks out.

“The bastard took the coffee with him”.

 

Five nowhere to be found, the Hargreeves siblings decided to do as he said: they all asked Ben questions about Five’s name, and when he’d get it, who chose, why did Ben know but not them, not even Vanya (and she tries not to show that it hurt her a little to know that Ben was closer to Five than she was, because she always thought that the three of them were not hiding anything from each other.) Ben answers through Klaus when he can, but honestly, he doesn’t know much easier, and he doesn’t want to tell them the name right away because it’s funnier to make them guess.

“I bet it’s a French name,” Diego says “Mom always loved French names.” “No she did not, where does this come from?” Allison asks, looking at her brother as if he were the dumbest of them all.

“I’d say… Oliver.”

“Oh my God Luther that’s the worst name ever.” Klaus comments.

“Are you thinking about… Oliver Twist?” Vanya asks, frowning.

“Didn’t know you could read,” Diego says with a grin.

The conversation goes over like this for a while, them suggesting different names (from Albert to Francis, via Pedro and Reginald Junior, which they all agree would be the worst name ever). Ben refutes all the ideas, smiling still, having a lot of fun with this. Sometimes he glances at the door, expecting Five to come back with the coffee pot, even though he knows that Five would just teleport himself back in the kitchen rather than walk in. Ben also knows that he probably hurt Five’s pride too much and that The Boy is somehow mad at him - and so Ben promises himself that he will find Five later to apologize when the others will be bored of the little game he is playing with them.

The day goes on and when one of the siblings crosses Klaus’s path, they ask him to ask Ben - to the point where Klaus eventually gets bored of it because Ben is not hanging around him _all the damn time_. (Which is half a lie: Ben is there most of the time until he finds himself looking for Five, without telling Klaus about it because he wants to find him alone.)

 

Of course, Five is in the library. Ben finds him reading _The Seagull_ and a part of him wonders if he chose this book on purpose. Five doesn’t notice his presence, not until Ben catches a pen to scrawls some words on a piece of paper. Five’s eyes widen and he jerks up, almost ready to fight, probably not expecting a pen to move by itself all of a sudden, but it only takes him a few minutes to understand that it can only be Ben’s doing. He relaxes then and doesn’t say anything, looking at what the pen - what Ben is writing.

_Hey_

Five doesn’t bother to answer that.

_Are you mad at me?_

Five shrugs. He doesn’t know where to look so he just stares at the desk he is sitting at. He eventually closes the book he was reading and Ben is pleased to see that he caught his attention at least. Ben writes some more.

_Why don’t you want them to know your name?_

Ben is genuinely asking. Five had never told him why he would not let his siblings but Ben know about the name Grace had given to him. Back in time, Ben did not care enough to question him about it but since Five had come back into his life - or rather death in his case - he had thought about it sometimes, and almost asked Klaus about it too. Today was a good day to finally let his wonders come to a real conclusion. Except that Five had fled and Ben had had to cope with his siblings asking him about it all day long. However, Ben did not regret, because he could ask Five about it at last, and even though he would have liked to be visible, he could at least communicate with him a little.

A little was not much, but Ben has to settle for it.

Five looks annoyed but Ben knows this look, it’s more an embarrassed look than an angry one, and Ben knows that his bond with Five is not as strong as it was when they were children, even though it hurts to admit it, and consequently, Ben also knows that Five is probably not as disposed to open up to him as he was before. On top of that, Ben is fucking invisible, and God knows how much he hates it right now.

“It was our thing.” Five says suddenly. He mumbles more than anything else actually, but Ben doesn’t mind.

The pen doesn’t move, so Five sighs and looks away. He feels like teleporting again, just like he did in the kitchen because he is irritated and he wants to be alone - but is he not? If anyone walked in right now, they would find him alone, they would not see Ben just as Five is not seeing him either. The pen eventually goes back to scratching the paper.

_What do you mean?_

Five sighs again. “You know,” his tone is harsh, “our thing like - only you knew it so only you could use it, it was a special thing, a thing we shared that the others did not.”

Ben didn’t expect that.

He doesn’t exactly know why or how, but it aches in his chest. Five watches the pen as it falls on the floor but doesn’t try to catch it. He looks up to where he thinks Ben is, doesn’t say anything.

The pen flies back to the paper all of a sudden and writes, slower than before. Five reads:

_I’m sorry_

Five shakes his head. “There is nothing to be sorry about. We’re not kids anymore. Tell them if you want to, I don’t care. No one ever used this name but you anyway. It doesn’t mean anything to me.”

The pen writes again.

_It did to me._

Five notices the period. He can almost _hear_ Ben’s voice, soft yet firm. He can almost _see_ his face, worried, maybe sad even - Five doesn’t like to imagine him like this. He doesn’t want to know that Ben pities him somehow, he doesn’t need that, he doesn’t need anyone’s pity and not Ben’s more than anyone else. It is all the more annoying that Five thought Ben, among the others, would be the one to understand this the best.

“Whatever.” Five sighs. “Five is fine. I don’t care anymore. And you’re dead so you should not care either, because you can’t even talk to me for real, and I’m talking to the fucking void for the past ten minutes and this doesn’t make any sense. But I guess it still does because we’re the freaking Hargreeves, uh?” Five has a nervous laugh. “So having a number as a name is really the least of my worries.”

Ben is hurt. He knows that Five probably doesn’t mean to be rude to him, that he is just angry at everyone, all the time, as he has always been since he came back from the apocalypse. But still. It hurts. Because Ben _does_ care. He cares about his brother and he cares about his name, about everything else too. And Ben is also frustrated because he would really like Five to hear this out loud, to hear that, no matter what he’d do, Ben would always care, _always_. So he takes the pen one last time.

_It was a special thing for me, too._

Five looks at the words: the ink leaks a little bit because of how hard the pen nib has sunk into the paper. Then he feels something on his cheek, like a soft touch, and…

Nothing.

He’s alone now. He can feel it. Only now that it isn’t there anymore, he notices the presence that had been around the whole time. Five looks around him, almost jump out of his seat to call Ben back, but he restrains himself to do so when he understands that Ben probably left for good.

He hurt him, Five is aware of it. He is also aware of the fact that his apologies won’t matter. He sighs and takes his book back. He tries to ignore the paper with all the writing on it, just as much as he tries to ignore the unbearable ache in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can complain about everything on tumblr (@nopesther) and twitter (@tata_ther) - and I'd love to hear from you in the comments so feel free to say anything!! Thank you for reading <3


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